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There is a worrying surge of violence in the way people express themselves. Blasphemy, profanity, vulgarity of all kinds, insults and aggressive bursts are an everyday matter, especially on the Internet...

There is a worrying surge of violence in the way people express themselves. Blasphemy, profanity, vulgarity of all kinds, insults and aggressive bursts are an everyday matter, especially on the Internet, where people can hide behind the safe mask of anonymity. Human relationships are strained and tense and, what is worse, that is considered not only normal but even socially desirable. Being “cool” means always being on the warpath against everything and everyone to affirm one’s own identity against the whole world.
Western society is so massified that individuals feel there is no other way to distinguish themselves from the rest than attacking before being attacked. It is a notion we all are fed since we are born: those who cry the most are the most noticed and receive more food, more care and more attention, the quiet ones not being annoying enough to be taken into account. The same happens at school: disruptive behaviour attracts more attention than a reserved attitude. At work, those who adopt arrogant manners are the ones who climb the ladder and get social approval, the correct ones being left at the bottom. Vehement politicians are the most voted. Those who shout the loudest are those who are more socially successful. We are taught that life is a fight. We are educated to see aggressiveness in nature as the normality. We approve of violence to the point we invented codified ways to enjoy it and called them sports – think of boxing, wrestling, rugby, American football, all martial arts and all competitive sports. We kill and torture animals just for fun. We accept competition and war as inevitable. We are so perverted that we like to inflict our bodies physically harmful treatments to be trendy – drugs, junk food, piercing, invasive cosmetic surgery, extreme sexual practices… Words, gestures and poses that in the past were a no-no, nowadays are cool. Why is it so?
The sad reasons are two. One: we need attention from others to fuel our ego, so that we can feel important. Two: we are inherently violent. Our ego is. We are self-centred in every aspect of our lives and, what is worse, we cannot distinguish the natural need for care and love from the violent self-assertion. Violence and selfishness are two sides of the same coin: one is violent because he/she is selfish and one is selfish because he/she is violent. The more violent our environment is, the more violently we respond to it and the more violent the environment becomes. It is a vicious circle that is difficult to break, especially by the weak ones – and by “weak” I mean the most suggestible and the ones most subjected to their ego.
The ego in itself is not a negative thing. On the contrary, it is essential to one’s life because it pushes us to search for food, shelter, comfort and social approval, which is so relevant for an easy life – with no social approval, there is no way to be protected, helped and supported. Problems arise when the ego is not kept within these limits and becomes a sort of inner Machiavelian dictator who asserts itself with any possible means. In this way, the others become important only if they conform to one’s ego, otherwise they are a threat to be silenced or pushed aside.
That is most true when it comes to present Western society. In the last decades, we saw the rise of a relatively new role model, whose traits are self-assertiveness and contempt for what was socially accepted for millennia. Courtesy, gentle modes and respect are not trendy any more, the reason being our society has always been violent – see the emphasis given since the dawn of time to war-like behaviour, war-related language and warmonger politics. Yet, in the past, this aggressiveness was disguised in good manners and refined words, probably because there can be no society that is constantly at war with itself, while nowadays arrogance is the social norm. Economical and political power admits neither disagreements nor alternative opinions and the same arrogant attitude towards everything and everyone has become the only way to act for almost everyone.
Forgetting that we are social animals, we think that others are a bore, a threat and an obstacle to our desire for omnipotence. At our best, the others are a tool for our success. We do not value others the same way we value ourselves, as human beings who need respect, love and attention. The others are objects to be metaphorically or physically kicked off our path. This is especially clear when it comes to written exchange. When relating to others, we need to rely on acts, words and body language to understand what the others mean and being understood but when we write the only things we can rely on are words. When people feel free to act with no penalty, like on the Internet, they give free rein to their inherent violence: then there are the swear words, the insults and the violent opponents’ silencing. Sometimes foul language is used with no other reason than it being trendy.
The majority of those who use aggressive language a) feel entitled to do so b) do not even recognise the social impact of their linguistic choice. Where I live, I hear people swearing to God in every possible way at any age, social condition and sex gender. Uttering profanity is the norm, so it is OK to use it as a normal, unnoticed intercalary. In English, I read more sex-related vulgarity than profanity, but the effects on my ears are the same: it is a form of violence that hurts me the more because there are no cultural and social limits to it.
In the name of peace and respect, which are my basic principles in life, I say no to all that. I say no to swearing. I say no to censorship of those who think differently. I say to no aggressiveness. I say no to elbowing on people’s faces to be noticed. On my part, just on my part, that goes without saying. The others are free to do what they like best and face the consequences of their choices. I stand aside.